Only Love in 2015

How exactly is one supposed to seriously contemplate life-changing resolutions when they never have more than 10 minutes of semi-uninterrupted time to sit down and think upon such things? (I mean seriously, it's like this unwritten rule in the universe that I can not just sit for more than 7 3/4 minutes at a time before someone in my household needs something from me.) Every year as the 365th day approaches I tell myself I'm going to carve out some time to actually put on paper the goals I have for the upcoming year - things I want to change and do differently. Items I want to cross off the bucket list I have yet to get on paper. And then comes January 1st and as much as I try to keep track of these goals in my head I find myself losing sight of the things I want to accomplish. Then, before I know it another year has passed and I find myself stagnate in all areas of my life. Not this year though. So here I sit, committing myself to putting my 2015 goals in writing so they are out there and I can hold myself accountable to them. (And you can too if you so choose! I love having accountability partners.)

1. Stop bullying myself (and in turn bullying others, especially my family.)

This year I am going to stop listening to the self-loathing, self-depreciating bully in my head that is constantly whispering to me reasons why I am not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, business-minded enough, creative enough, WHATEVER enough. The voice that gets me so low at times for all my "failures" that I self-sabotage any positive progress I may have made. That voice that gets me so angry at myself that I then channel that anger toward my precious girls and husband for the tiniest of reasons. I'm done that with that voice. In 2015 I am going to start believing what I know to be true in my heart of hearts. I am not perfect, but I am enough. 

2. Stop Yelling

This one is very intwined with #1 but I feel like it needs it's own number because I am serious about this one probably the most of any other. I don't want to go to bed one more night hating myself for the way I talked to my family and wondering how much damage I have done to them and hoping, praying even, that my girls don't grow up and look back and remember a mom who yelled ALL THE TIME. And while I am at it - I'm going to add cursing in here as well. It's a bad habit and a bad example that I am in danger of passing on to my girls who deserve better. And I am going to be completely honest yall, I have no idea how I'm going to overcome this yelling thing as I feel like its sometimes the only way I get heard. But, fortunately, I know someone who knows just what I need to accomplish this and I plan on hitting my knees daily - hourly even if needed - to redirect my yelling to productive conversations and activities.

3. Be Present More

Life is short. I, unfortunately, am not getting any younger and I want to experience life while I have it. My family and friends deserve my undivided attention. My phone and Facebook news feed do not. This one - while so easy in concept - is going to be hard for me. But I am committed to spending less time on my phone and more time with my family.

4. Take Care of Me

I am committed to getting me healthy in 2015. Physically, mentally and spiritually. I am going to carve out time each day to exercise my mind, my body and most importantly my heart. 

5. Get to Church

No more excuses. So what if it is one of the only days I have to sleep in. I am committing to getting my family where they need to be on Sunday - worshiping with our chuch family and connecting with other families with like struggles. 

6. Grow my Business

This one has its own set of goals but for the sake of my overall goals I had to mention it here.

7. Be an Example

It's one of the things that scares me most - the fact that, good or bad, the girls are learning from my example. While there are some things I am proud they are learning there is oh so much I am not proud of. I am very lucky to have a mother who sets a great example. I want to be that for my girls.

8. Today Only Love

I read a blog post at handsfreemama.com and I loved her mantra: Today Only Love and decided I needed it in my life as well. I realize to accomplish these goals I have to take it one day at a time and so when I feel the need to react to the bully in my mind or give in to my frustration with my girls or my husband this is going to be my guide. In all I do and say in 2015 I want to do it only in love. Not in frustration, irritation, anger - just plain 'ol love. If what comes out of my mouth is an overflow of my heart then I need to work on my heart for sure. I'm ready and I hope you will join me along the way.